YOGURT
While they sleep, I ferment. Headquarters of the men who eat their yogurt slowly, in silence, while looking at nothing.
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Bureau of Fermentation · Form YM-1
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SWORN
Nutrition Facts
Ingredients:
Contains: no pudding. May contain traces of aura.
Tubs consumed to date:
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Article one · binding on all members
The Yogurt Code
Ten laws, handed down from a man in a suit, eating a yogurt, staring past the camera. Learn them. Live them. Never say them out loud. Tap each law to swear by it. Swear all ten, take the oath, and certification unlocks.
- I
Thou shalt eat thy yogurt slowly, while staring into the middle distance.Eye contact with the yogurt is permitted only on the first spoonful.
- II
Never lick the lid in public. The lid is licked in solitude.
- III
Fruit on the bottom is for men who fear the top.
- IV
Plain Greek. No sugar. No excuses.Honey is permitted on Sundays and after leg day.
- V
A Yogurt Male does not stir. He waits for the yogurt to stir itself.
- VI
Thy spoon is metal. Plastic spoons are for tourists.
- VII
The drinkable yogurt is not a yogurt. It is a cry for help.
- VIII
Check the expiration date the way you check your enemies: daily, and without emotion.
- IX
Share thy yogurt with no man, except thy brothers in culture.
- X
When they ask why you eat yogurt, say nothing. Keep eating.
Daily reading · same for every brother today
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